Just for the craic
An Irish family has been frozen to death outside the Dublin Odeon. They had
been queuing for 3 weeks to watch 'Closed For Winter!'
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3 sisters Ann, Jan & Fanny all have big feet. Ann & Jan go on a date and one
of the boys says "Jesus, you have big feet!" Ann replies "You should see the
size of our Fanny's!"
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Paddy buys a bath, but takes it back the next day complaining the water
keeps running out. The manager asks "Did you buy a plug?" Paddy replies,
"You didn't say it was electric!"
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In the newspaper it said 'Please look after your neighbours in the cold
weather'. Our neighbour is an 87 year old woman - not once has she come
round to check if we are alright. The lazy bitch hasn't even taken in her
milk for 2 weeks!
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Farmer Giles gets a phone call from his farm hand.
"I've run over a pig and it's stuck under the tractor, still alive...."
"Shoot it", says the farmer, "and then bury him". A little while later he
gets another phone call. "Done that, what should I do with his speed
camera?!"
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