The Talking Dog
A guy is driving around Bradford and he sees a sign in front of a
house: "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and Mr Singh the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yes, I do," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says,"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 and the FBI about my gift, and in no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, but I got the sack recently as I got caught in the animal transport section at the airport, it was a fair cop, I had me bitches down there and used to get information for favours if you know what I'm saying... unfortunately I was caught with three lovely young whippets in a very uncompromising position and the photos made it back to my wife, she wasnt too pleased! Anyway now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Gimmie a tenner cash mate," the owner says.
"Ten quid? This dog is bloody amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a fcuking liar. He never did any of that shit."
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