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Talk Angling fishing chat and tackle advice » Other Chat » Jokes and Funny stories » A Few Quickies

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Old 10th April 2009, 08:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default A Few Quickies

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop w@nking.
When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"


I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?



I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one punch.

My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
"It's worth spending money on good loudspeakers," he told me.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"



Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.


I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
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Old 10th April 2009, 08:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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lmfao mate
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