wotnot

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained
consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you
were in a pile-up on the motorway.'

'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be
OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you
as gently as I can. Your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we
were unable to find it.'

The bloke groans a bit (as you would) but the doctor goes on, 'We've
checked your insurance and you've actually got £9,000 compensation
coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now
to build you a new one that will work just as well as your old one,
better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one
thousand pounds an inch.'

The bloke perks up a bit at this news 'So it's a simple decision,'
the doctor says, "you need to decide how many inches you want. But
it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you
had a five inch willy before and you decide to go for a nine inch
willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine incher
before and you decide only to invest in a five incher now, she might
be a bit disappointed. It's important that you consult with her to
help you make the decision.'

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have.' says the chap.

'And has she helped you to make the decision?'


'Yes, she has' he says.

'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.

'We're having a new kitchen.'