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IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery............................The study of Painting
Bacteria.........................Back door of a Cafeteria
Barium...........................What Doctors do when patients die
Bowel............................A letter like A,E,I,O,U
Caesarean Section..........A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat Scan........................Search for kitty
Cauterise........................Made eye contact with her
Coma.............................A punctuation mark
D&C.............................Where Washington is
Dilate.............................To live longer
Enema...........................Not a friend
Fester ..........................Quicker
Fibula...........................A small lie
Genital..........................Not a Jew
G.I Series.....................A soldier ball game
Hangnail.......................Coat hook
Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known
Labour pain..................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff................Doctors cane
Morbid.........................A higher offer
Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates
Node...........................Was aware of
Outpatient....................A person who has fainted
Pap smear....................A fatherhood test
Pelvis......................…..A cousin to Elvis
Recovery room.......…..Place to do upholstery
Rectum...................…..Almost killed him
Secretion.................… Hiding something
Seizure...................…. Roman Emperor
Tablet....................…...A small table
Terminal illness............Getting sick at the airport
Tumour.........................Another two
Urine...........................Opposite to "you're out"
Varicose......................Nearby
Vein.............................Bigheaded