scunnyiron

The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi
play football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come
over to Anfield.
Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at Man Utd with only 20
minutes left.
The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the
game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches
are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her
about his first day in English football." Hello mum, guess what?" he
says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0
down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media,
they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your
father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were
ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a
gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so
sorry."
"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we
moved to Liverpool in the first place!"