scunnyiron

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat
This procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have
Lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost Nearly
60 POUNDS!
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were
Going to drop dead dat 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from fookin' skippin'