ITS JUST BEEN ON THE NEWS THAT ALL THE MAJOR SUPERMARKETS ARE TO WITH DRAW THE NEW STEVE IRWIN SUNCREAM, THE REASON BEING IT DOES'NT PROTECT YOU FROM HARMFULL RAYS.

What's green and hungry?

Steve Irwin's Croc!

An ode to Steve Irwin:

A bright and brash Australian, the hunter was his name.
And all those slimy reptiles, brought him wealth and fame.
Some say he was a looker, to girls he was a dish.
He knew it all about crocodiles, but sweet f**k all 'bout fish

A sympathetic letter I wrote to Steve Irwin's wife Terri


Dear Terri
Please excuse these morons who think it is fun to joke about the tragic death of your husband. It is at these times one should be thinking about you, the children & their loss of a father, who was a gentleman. He gave millions of us great pleasure in doing what he did. Once again my deepest condolences
Love & Best Wishes

Alan xxxxx

PS Without wishing to feel unsympathetic in your time of grievance, Would it be at all possible to let me have his Ashes tickets.

He wasn't the first, and he won't be the last, to have his heart broke by something with big flaps that stinks of fish.