football
Birmingham City Manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to England
Two weeks later Birmingham are 4-0 down to Albion with only 20 minutes left.
The Manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod, and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation and scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Birmingham
The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch, he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
'Hello Mum, guess what?' he says in an Iraqi accent.
'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media they all love me'. 'Wonderful', says his Mum, 'let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you were having such a great time'.
The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say Mum, except that I am very sorry?'
Sorry?!!!' says his Mum. 'It's your bloody fault we moved to Birmingham in the first place'!!
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Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defence.
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