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Being drafted after age 65

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  • Being drafted after age 65

    I'm over 65 (not me personally) and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
    (You can't be older than 35 to join the military.)
    They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off
    to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to
    join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters:

    Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
    us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
    soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
    into submission. "My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote?"
    An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go
    to war until you're at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on the
    other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through the desert
    heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. (Note
    there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case...another convenient way to measure time!)

    An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.
    Old guys always get up early to pee.
    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget
    where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
    screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for
    guns. We like them almost better than naps.
    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been
    in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
    side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
    Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... er .. one."
    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've
    never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
    learning to shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top
    of his butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He's hasn't figured out
    that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker
    in the back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum, and that a baseball cap has a brim to
    shade eyes, not the back of his head.
    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who
    attacked us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is
    a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

    Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can read it.
    Regards Billy Boy :)

    .`.??.??`.??.??`.? ><((((?>
    .`?.??.???`?.??.???`?.? ><((((?>

  • #2
    nice one bill just be like a Ta match theres always some silly buggar moaning
    In darkness we do what we can
    In daylight we're oblivion


    • #3

      Our club had the best moaners in the land. We often threaten them with fish deficits if the continue to moan.
      Regards Billy Boy :)

      .`.??.??`.??.??`.? ><((((?>
      .`?.??.???`?.??.???`?.? ><((((?>


      • #4
        You aint heard me yet,sorry woodhouse as.I even cuss myself


        • #5
          Originally posted by ridgeacre
          You aint heard me yet,sorry woodhouse as.I even cuss myself
          Only for 6 hours Frank.