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A letter from Ireland

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  • A letter from Ireland

    Dear Son,

    Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this slowly because I know you can't read fast. You wont know the house when you get home, 'cos we've moved.

    Your Father has a lovely new job with 700 men under him - he cuts grass at the cemetery. There was a washing machine at the new house, but it's not working too good. Last week I put in 12 shirts, pulled the chain and I haven't seen them since.

    Your sister, Colleen had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out if it's a boy or girl, so I don't know if you're an uncle or aunt.

    Sent you your big overcoat, it was too heavy for the post so i cut the buttons off you'll find them in the right hand pocket.

    Your cousin Michael with the wooden legs house was on fire last Tuesday. They managed to save the house but your cousin Michael was burnt to the ground.

    Your Uncle Mick drowned last week in a vat of Whisky at the Dublin Distillery. His mates tried to save him, but he fought them off bravely. He was cremated and it took four days to put the fire out.

    I saw the doctor last week and your Father went with me. Doc put a glass tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for five minuets. Your Father wanted to buy it from him. It only rained twice this week, first for four days the second for three days.

    We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the final payment on your Grandmother's grave wasn't paid in seven days - up she comes.

    Your loving Mother XXXX

    P.S. I was going to send you 10 punt, but I'd already sealed the envelope
    Simon Young
    Talk Angling UK fishing chat and tackle
    web design Doncaster - Limitless Digital

  • #2
    Thats brilliant Oneabung!

    Nice one
    To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.


    • #3

      Hey, I'm Irish............................................. .............. can you tell it a little slower?


      • #4
        Was haveing a bad day today but read this cheered me up no end its brill mate pmsl