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who is jack schitt

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  • who is jack schitt


    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

    We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
    Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
    intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
    magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had
    one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
    produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
    Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
    school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
    Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living
    with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
    Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
    rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
    children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
    childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremo
    ny. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
    nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently
    returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

    Crock O. Schitt

  • #2
    What a load of schitt