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a Womans Dictionary

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  • a Womans Dictionary

    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

    40-ish - 49
    Adventurous - Slept with everyone
    Athletic - No tits
    Average looking - Ugly
    Beautiful - Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally secure - On medication
    Feminist - Fat
    Free spirit - Junkie
    Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
    Fun - Annoying
    New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
    Open-minded - Desperate
    Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate - Sloppy drunk
    Professional - Bitch
    Voluptuous - Very Fat
    Large frame - Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate - Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
    8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
    And finally.....

    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
    For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
    However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
    here carpy carpy carpy

  • #2
    think i can leave this one

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