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Harold and Mildred

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  • Harold and Mildred

    Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner,
    Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar,
    listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on his long life.

    One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat,before they know it, several hours had passed. After a short lull in
    their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred asks, "Do you know what I miss
    most of all?"

    She asks, "What?" "SEX!!" he replies.

    Mildred exclaims, "Why you old devil, you couldn't get it up if I held a
    gun to your head!"

    "I know, "Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
    for a while."

    "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
    each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's you know what.

    One night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's

    Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing old sod! ----- What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

    Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's..."