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Suicide Bombers

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  • Suicide Bombers

    Suicide Bombers to go on strike

    Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday
    in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.
    Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The
    unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a
    suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February,
    from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years
    of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the

    The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
    (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and
    immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told
    the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause
    of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like
    a kick in the teeth."

    Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently
    resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize
    with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
    their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad
    in a competitive marketplace.

    Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the
    afterlife.. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying
    people off.. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of
    my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

    Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, and
    the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their
    operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."

    Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the
    emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what an
    actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.
    The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others

  • #2
    nige cooke


    • #3
      verry good


      • #4
        lol, what goes woof woof boom? a terrierist!
        i'm not lazy, just energy efficient.


        • #5
          Jeff ,
          That was superb , cheered me up on a wet and dismal sunday morning " Well Done "

          GARY S


          • #6
            That's brilliant mate!