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It's Quickie Time

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  • It's Quickie Time

    A woman, playing golf, had started her round of golf when she was stung by a bee. On returning to the clubhouse, her golf teacher asked why she had come back so soon after teeing off. She told him that she had been stung by a bee. He asked her, "Where did it sting you?"
    She answered, "Between the first and second hole."
    Shaking his head, he said, "Your feet are too apart."



    Harry Rednapp will pocket around £3,000,000 after leaving Spurs, which after tax will be around £3,000,000


    The England team have visited an orphanage in Poland yesterday. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Igor, aged 6.





    Man goes to the doctors and said that everytime he masterbated he shouted out "Come on Manchester United" The doctor told him most s do


    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.


    And finally


    A guy visiting Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being
    diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
    The nurse, who was taken aback asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor’?
    The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.'
    Last edited by hurricane; 16 June 2012, 03:12 PM.

  • #2
    Bloody excellent , nice one.

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    • #3
      Pmsl!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Come on! the tourettes one was the best one, bloody editors

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Maverick120 View Post
          Come on! the tourettes one was the best one, bloody editors
          Thought police at it again are they....
          On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

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          • #6
            Asterix kids can figure out but cant manage PMSL apparently.
            Time we grew up

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Maverick120 View Post
              Asterix kids can figure out but cant manage PMSL apparently.
              Time we grew up
              Not allowed to be adult on here mate.
              On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

              Comment


              • #8
                You can be as adult as you like as long as you dont swear. Left to its own devices this site would not be a pleasant place to be, believe me we tried it in one of the chat rooms where anything was allowed, it was not nice in there believe me.
                Now you might think that some swearwords are ok and mild enough to let go, however experience has shown you let them go, and others push it even further, and when warned use the excuse well you allowed that, is that not swearing and then start being abusive to boot.
                Hence we have a no swearing policy, and if spotted by a Mod it will be edited.

                www.polefloatsbyjasonelwell.co.uk

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Brian G View Post
                  You can be as adult as you like as long as you dont swear. Left to its own devices this site would not be a pleasant place to be, believe me we tried it in one of the chat rooms where anything was allowed, it was not nice in there believe me.
                  Now you might think that some swearwords are ok and mild enough to let go, however experience has shown you let them go, and others push it even further, and when warned use the excuse well you allowed that, is that not swearing and then start being abusive to boot.
                  Hence we have a no swearing policy, and if spotted by a Mod it will be edited.
                  Agree with most of what you have said Bri but why then. is PMSL allowed when we all know its an abbreviation?

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                  • #10
                    Jimbo believe it or not, we have to let somethings go and some minor words are not edited, nor do the Mods want to or feel the need to have to read every post, just in case someone has swore. See how difficult it is to draw a line as to whats acceptable and whats not. PMSL is not used on the main site to any great extent. I am not sure that I see anything that is worse in the terms of abbreviations used either, but maybe they are just removed by the Mods.

                    www.polefloatsbyjasonelwell.co.uk

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                    • #11
                      This post has been edited as not suitable.
                      Last edited by hurricane; 17 June 2012, 09:04 PM.

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                      • #12
                        Hurricane throws his Rattle out of the pram again,
                        Looks like I'm banned as he cant argue on open forum so its PM time.
                        Coward!

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                        • #13
                          Maverick, When you joined this forum you were asked to agree to bide by its rules, you did or you would not have passed go, the rules re swearing are posted at the very start of this forum, as prescribed by the site owner. As a Moderator of this site Hurricane works to those rules, with nothing added nor taken away, he has no favourites and treats us all the same.
                          I dont see you as of yet being banned from the site, but I guess you will commit forum suicide and no doubt end up being so the decision is yours.
                          Just in case anyone is in doubt of the rules they can be found here on a thread that is now two years old http://www.talkangling.co.uk/upload/...ease-read.html
                          Last edited by Brian G; 17 June 2012, 10:07 PM.

                          www.polefloatsbyjasonelwell.co.uk

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Brian G View Post
                            but I guess you will commit forum suicidel[/url]
                            Is that the TA arm of Dignitas ? Hope they've put a link up back to the site....
                            On the gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat and red right hand.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Sorry the decision is not mine, the rules I can abide by its the non consistency that gets my goat and the behind the scene threats via PM.
                              I have done nothing wrong, the joke was funny asterix or achronym what's the difference.
                              Suicide? Did he jump or was he pushed ?
                              You decide.

                              Comment

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