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Just A Few Quickies

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  • Just A Few Quickies

    I was at the gym today and noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in. Anyway, she made a formal complaint and now I'm banned for life.

    I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

    Marriage is like a deck of cards.
    At the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. In the end you wish you had a club and a spade.

    Paddy wanted to sell his car so Mick told him to rewind the clock back and he would get more for it. When he saw him a few days later Mick asked Paddy how he'd got on. Paddy told him " When I finished it only had 7000 miles on it so I decided to keep it."

  • #2
    Up to your usual standard fisher bill!
    To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.