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Thank you officer

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  • Thank you officer

    While I was driving down the M1 the other day, (going a little faster than
    I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait.

    The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and with that classic,
    patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short"?

    To which I replied. "I'm late for work"

    To which he asked, "What do you do?"

    "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

    The policeman was surprised and confused.

    "A rectum stretcher"

    "and just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

    "Well," I said "I start by inserting one finger then I work my way up to
    two fingers, then three, then four then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can stretch and stretch and then I slowly but surely stretch
    the hole until it's about 6 feet"

    Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously. "And just what do
    you do with a six-foot ?"

    To which I politely replied, "You give it a radar gun and park it behind a

    Speeding ticket: £105,

    Court Costs: £45,

    Look on copper's face: Priceless....
    In darkness we do what we can
    In daylight we're oblivion