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I will brush up on me Austrailian accent mate, and look me up some sheilias while I'm there me old Pomey.
The following must be spoken in the Austrailian accent
"A lot of people in this country poo poo Australian table wine, this is a pity as not only Austrailian wines appeal to the Austrailian pallate but also to the conasentie of Great Britain. Of the fighting wines the most famous is Perth Pink, this has a message on the bottle and the message is Beware, this is not a wine for drinking but a wine for laying down and avoiding, at the opening of the Sydney harbour bridge club the other day they were FISHING them out the main sewer every half an hour. Another good Austrailian wine is Chateu Chunder, this is an appellation controle especially designed for those keen on re-gurgitaion, also a nice Rose Wogga Wogga that smells like an Aboriginies arm pit and has a kick on it like a Mule."
So get your Chunder rags out Brian me old pomey mate because ya going down 5-0.
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